It's Been Awhile

Having been inspired by my friend, http://www.azhyattfamily.blogspot.com, to write again, I realized it has been almost a year since my last blog. I also realized not much has changed in a year. Is this a bad thing or just a season in my life? The kids have grown and changed, my husband has grown and changed, all for the good. Myself, well, I have just grown, by a whopping 8lbs! Not so good. I want to think I have grown spiritually, but doesn't really feel that way. A season or just lack of discipline? 


A year ago, I was de-cluttering the house and giving things away. I can't say that I replaced all of it and I have actually gotten rid of even more since then, but it is definitely creeping in again. Maybe it should be a quarterly thing? It's not just the physical junk, it is spiritual and mental too. Why do I feel pressured to sign these kids up for random silliness? Why do I take on projects and distractions? Does this make me feel more needed or more successful as a person? I know if I declutter the house it will give me a pat on the back and I will be able to once again ignore the real area that needs decluttering, my spirit. Of course then I would use that as a reason not to declutter the house. Oh how we excuse and rationalize! Would someone please infuse discipline into me? I can do it for school and for my kids, why can't I seem to get this right for me?


I am fairly sure it was I who wrote that a disciplined life leads to peace and gentleness and yet I cannot take my own insight and apply it to my life. I seem to be full of "wisdom" and flat out psycho babble for everyone else, but completely inept to change myself. Discipline. Maybe if we called it by another word that has less harsh connotations? Perhaps conduct, control, cultivation, curb, development, domestication, drill, drilling, education, exercise, inculcation, indoctrination, limitation, method, orderliness, practice, preparation, regulation, restraint, self-command, self-control, self-government, self-mastery, self-restraint, strictness, subordination, will or willpower? Nope all of these words are so demanding. I did find it ironic that domestication came in as a synonym for discipline. That would "preach"! 

I suppose this was supposed to be an update on my life. Maybe if I would be disciplined in blogging, my simple guilt for not entertaining you all would lead me to making some other changes as well. There is some food for thought!

I promise the next post will be witty, yea even funny!